Bullying and Implications-This IS front page news.

The news has been inundated with the tragic results of teenage bullying. It is a widespread problem and finger pointing accompanies each and every article. What these articles don't seem to address is how do children and adults become bullies, and what needs to be done to curtail this old/new issue that has become front page news in many cities.

Obviously bullies have been around since, well, since forever. I don't recall bullying to be so prevelant when I was a child or teen, but then there wasn't the instant news updates through the wire services, or the internet when I was a child.
There were bullies, we have all seen them in action or been the target, but it never seemed to be such a virulent situation.

The finger pointing in my youth went to the home these young thugs lived in, and were dealt with by a parental visit, or by the victims themselves. Parents were held responsbile for their childrens actions, but every once in a while it was found that the parent was a bully as well, passing on the "wrong" model to their offspring.

As young girls we were given instruction to protect our younger siblings, and basically given permission to deal with any bullying issue in the best way possible.
Bullies pick their victims to a variety of reasons, and weakness is a key factor in who becomes a victim.

Just like a young child who throws a tantrum as long as there is an audience, so does a bully (now entire groups as well) need an audience or reaction to be successful.

So who is indeed responsible for halting the actions of these young miscreants? I use that word without remorse, for to me bullying is something that can be controlled and should be either by parental units or the law, or by peers. Can the victims themselves stop this harrassment. Old movies show resolution to bullying by a good punch in the nose, or by the underdogs winning a sporting event. Is bullying glamourized in some of these movies?

Where do these kids ever come up with the idea that bullying is okay? Are they so in need of attention themselves that somehow they think that this is an acceptable way to get this attention? Are parents so self involved that they turn a blind eye to what their children are capable of; part of the "not my child" syndrome. When did it become okay not to be responsible for ones actions or activities?

Researchers, affiliated with major universities are attempting to find these answers right now.

I believe we all need to look hard at this lack of civility in our youthful population today. Maybe it begins by looking in the mirror.

The world we live in.

This isn't exactly a headline, as much as a comment a friend made today. She pulled out of her parking spot only to note a flat tire. So leaving the car and flashers on she called AAA and waited.
She pondered the world we live in when a neighbor slunk out of her house, grabbed her mail, and made her way back to her door, never once looking up or making any eye contact. No conversation, not a word volunteering a phone or other aid.
My young friend could only become more depressed, therefore commenting on the state of the world we live in.

This subject has been touched on many times recently. It is the "not my business" syndrome, or the "I didn't see anything, therefore do not wish to be involved" mantra. A sub text of this would be a "not my kid" statement. (I'll save the last for another time).
A recent headline screamed " Is Civility Dead?".

Well young friend, it is a heck of a world we all live in now. There are many folks who feel that if there isn't anything in it for them, then they can't be bothered to lend a hand or an ear. We are a self absorbed society, and during a recession it seems to get worse. When we could use a hand or an ear the most, it is absent.
We tuck in, not letting anyone in, lest they wish for something we have.

Guess what? This is not the first recession this country or world has been in. It may take a while but it will eventually turn around. It is just the nature of things.
We were growing fat on plastic and big fancy houses mortgaged to the hilt. Some of us weren't paying attention.
Eventually the plastic had to grow thin, and the bills come due.

When I was a young woman, in my early twenties, another recession plagued this country.
I was young and in love, with good friends and a whole family, and friends families, and we somehow all came through it.
Looking back I realize that I just assumed that since we all were young and struggling, and just starting out in adulthood, it was okay. We learned how to scrimp and save, and make our meager ends meet.
We really didn't have any thing to lose.

I believe that this stinky old world will change again and for the better. It will not be tomorrow or next week, or even next year, but it will change. The calamity of our times, will help to make us all wiser, and less wasteful, and maybe kinder to our fellow man, or woman.
This change will begin with each and every one of us. A helping hand without a request. A ride offered, a meal shared, a donation to those needier made. A smile, a thank you, a genuine conversation, and this world will change.
I am not naive. There will always be armed conflicts and problems that continue on with no end in sight. But in our own little neighborhood, in our ever expanding circle of friends, things will get better. Step at a time, our lives will improve.

We read of strangers rushing in to help, of extreme gestures to aid those in need and homeless, and of the cabbie who returns a large sum of cash found left behind. Little steps my young friend. Who cannot smile back at a smile. Who can pass by a collection can for a worthy cause.
So be the person who smiles first, who holds the door open for a stranger, or who reaches high on the shelf at the store for an elderly shopper.
Doesn't cost anything, and we can't afford not to be that person, can we?